Listen

As I thought about the 2016 word for me, I kept hearing this whisper of a word - listen.

Listen.

I let the word settle in my mind for a few weeks wondering what this meant.  Listen for what?  Listen to whom?

Listen to me.  Listen to my words.  Listen to my people.  Don't just hear their words.  Listen to their words.

I don't know about you but sometimes I hear words people speak to me but I'm not listening.  Instead, I'm thinking about the words I'm going to say in reply.

Listen to my people?  That's going to be a bit harder.  That means I need to be hearing their words with purpose.  That means that I need to focus on them and not me.

Listen.

That means my presence in a room isn't about me and what I have to say. It's about placing the focus on Christ, His word, His people.  If I should respond after listening, then those words should be Christ-centered and not me centered.

I need time to let this word settle in my heart.

What I Love To Do that Feeds My Soul

     I've found that when I don't spend enough time with God through out the day, I lose focus on life.  I've been slowly incorporating time to pray through out the day. Sometimes it is reading scripture. Other times it is listening to prayer and praise music.  Most of the time, it is just plain old talking to God while working.

     On the days when I have extra time in my schedule,  I like to sit in church and pray.  There are no distractions from the world except for the trucks that might rumble outside the window.  It is silent, peaceful and just the two of us, God and me.  Often, I pour my heart out to God.  Other times, I just sit and listen to God speaking to my heart. No matter what, I leave church filled with peace and joy.

Join us over at Beloved Brews on Thursdays.

2015 Word - Focus

In early December, I was trying to take a picture of water spot  There I was trying to focus on the ceiling but the camera wouldn't let me.  It was having a hard time focusing.  I couldn't figure it out.   I had done photographs like this before.  Then I remembered that I had changed the lens when I was taking a picture outside.  I never put the normal lens back on. Once the lens was replaced, I had no trouble taking a picture of the water spot.

While I was going through all of this, I heard a quiet voice in my heart saying that I was like the camera.  I was focusing on a lot of things but when it came down to it, I wasn't focusing on the right thing.  That thought really hit me. I'm all over the place but not really focusing on the right thing.

"Ok, God, so how do I focus on the right thing?  What is the right thing?"

Again, in a quiet voice, God answered my questions.  "Change your lens. Focus on me."

I attend bible study. I teach catechism.  I go to church.  I listen to Christian music. I read Christian books.  That was not the answer I expected.  In the weeks since this happened,  God has been showing me how my focus is not really on Him.  I talk to God but I really don't listen to him enough.  I say God is in control but my actions say otherwise.

God is reviving memories of when I did focus on Him, when I did believe that He was in control and it is humbling.  I've been pondering those times and thinking what is different now verses then.   The world is different.  Technology is different.  Along the way, I allowed the world to changed my lens.  Now,  I'm letting God change my lens.  I'm going to fix my eyes on Him.

Join us over at Beloved Brews on Thursdays.

Seven Things That I Learned This Year

1. I have to schedule exercise and prayer time on my calendar or chances are it won't happen.

I have Google calendar set up for pop up reminders on my phone.  These pop ups have been welcomed reminders for me.  If I get off my routine because of sickness or earlier than normal drives to meetings, then I have that reminder on my phone that stays there until I clear it.

2.  I've noticed that I always feel peaceful and calm when I'm staying at a nice hotel or renting a vacation place. 

I've figured out that the reason is the rooms are free of clutter and have been cleaned.  I have been working on a cleaning and decluttering plan for this sense of peace and calm in my life.

3. Pandora has a Christian Contemporary Christmas station.

Christmas music during Advent made me very anxious this year.  I had three unexpectedly very busy weeks leading into the first week of December.  In trying to process all that I went through, I had to put off the thoughts of preparing for Christmas.  

However, when I went into stores, Christmas music was playing and subconsciously, it was letting me know that I wasn't ready for Christmas.  Even our local Christian music station was playing Christmas songs 24/7.  The Christian Contemporary Christmas station played songs written by Christian musicians and they weren't necessarily on the Christmas Top 40.  It helped me to slow down and breathe and focus on Christ.

4. It is worth the time to send someone a positive note.

As a society, we are quick to give negative feedback when we are angry but not as quick to give positive feedback when we are happy.  I've been trying to change that.  It takes time and effort to write a quick note.  Now that I've seen and heard how that note has affected the receiver, it's made me realize that it is time well spent.

5. Follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit even if it makes you uncomfortable.

I'm very much an introvert. I don't like going out of my comfort zone.  A few times this year, I was prompted to invite people to church.  I had such an inner battle going on but I did as prompted and felt peace afterwards.  The invitations were not accepted.  However, I found that the more I extended the invitations, the easier it was for me.  What use to be very uncomfortable is now just a little uncomfortable.

6. Not everyone decorates for Christmas elaborately as Americans do.

I subscribe to Country Living UK on Feedly.  As I read about their Christmas decorations and read through the Scandinavian décor blogs,  I realized how simple the decorations were - a Christmas tree, some fresh greenery, homemade garland.  I think there is some wisdom in this simple way of decorating.  It is giving me something to think long and hard on. 

7. A jingling johnny is a percussion instrument.

I never heard of a jingling johnny until this year. Who knew this instrument had a name?  I first saw the jingling johnny about two years ago in Rend Collective's video for "Build Your Kingdom Here."    If I was in a band, I could totally see myself using the jingling johnny.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Today is the last day of the O Antiphons.  I sit here, purposely, carving out time to ponder this moment.  I have the candles lit to help me feel the peace and calm that I am desperately seeking.  These four weeks of Advent plus the three weeks prior have seemed more like Lent. This is the holy moment I have been craving for four weeks but not finding.

I have put my self above God. I have put my needs for my expectations over what God needs of me.  As I slowly let go of control, I quickly grabbed onto God's hand and held tightly.  I listened to praise and praise music, Advent music and tried to remember to pray the Liturgy of the Hours throughout the day.  When I did that, I felt peace in my heart. I felt God.

Emmanuel.

God with us.

God with me.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
all the days that were formed for me,
when none of them as yet existed.
 Psalm 139:13-16

Daughter,

While you sat on the doctor's table swinging your size four feet and smiling that wonderful smile this morning, I smiled back at you.  We were both being brave for the other.  You try to be brave so much.  I see you how you put up that front.  I can tell.  I see it in your eyes.  A mother just knows.  It must be hard to see your two sisters, only minutes older than you, not have to face the same challenges as you.  

The day I entered the hospital was the day I was told there was great concern for you.  I prayed and I prayed.  As the machines whirred and beeped, I breathed slow, deep breaths and I prayed.  The rhythm of the machines had such a calming effect on me.  I prayed to the One who made you in His image. I offered every moment of every day in that hospital for you and for your sisters.  I was doing all that I knew to do.  When I surrendered my will to God, I had the most unbelievable peace.  I knew that no matter what happened, God was with me and He would see me through.  

Six days later, you and your sisters were born.  You were born from prayer and into this world you were greeted with prayer. We knew you needed a special name.  We picked Strength, daughter.  We knew you were going to need all the strength you could muster to make it through.  And make it through, you did!  

For a number of years we were living gloriously carefree of doctor visits.  Now we are back and things are different for both of us this time.  We both hear the whirring and the beeping.  Those machines still have that calming effect on me.  I take deep, long breaths and pray as you go through tests.  As I pray and relax, I know it's going to be fine.  I know deep down that it's going to be fine.  

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. - Romans 8:28

God has a plan for you, daughter.  

Coffee for Your Heart - You're Loved

You're loved.  Wholly. As you are. You may not believe it.  You may feel unlovable. You may think that you're unworthy.  You are worthy.  

For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

Let's read that verse again.  

For God so loved (insert your name) that He gave His only begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

You're loved. God wants you to believe that. He really loves you.  He wants you to spend eternity with Him. He sent His Son to die for you, for me, so that we will always be with Him. Always. 

Grab a cup of coffee and see what words Holley has to say over at Coffee for Your Heart.